Man Severs Foot While Performing Maintenance On Car

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Man Severs Foot While Performing Maintenance On Car

While working on his 1961 Ford Fairlane, Ruttiger Thomas Jr. (46) suffered a severe injury. Just last Sunday, while teaching his son (Ruttiger Thomas III) how to change a car's oil, Mr. Thomas accidentally pulled the lynchpin on his hoist. This caused the hood of the car to fall from an unusual height, cleanly severing his foot.

"Why I was just trying to teach young Rutty here how not to be such a queer, and work on cars like a man." Said the Cape Charles, VA native. "You know how we men do it, we drink a few beers, complain about our wives, and work in complete silence. The kid wouldn't stop complaining, saying "Daddy, I don't think you need to take the hood off the car", and "Daddy, shouldn't you be wearing shoes?". I telled (sic) him, son, real men don't worry about that stuff. Well, here we are."

A truly unfortunate turn of events, we hope the Thomas' don't have to send their son to conversion therapy in order to conform with the strict societal norms enforced in these more conservative states.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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